For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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