this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
