For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize