Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
