Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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