best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
MIDGETS
????
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
