i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize