I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
When are your genitals available?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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