after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
