i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
