we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
