WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Houston, we have a blender
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?