Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
