i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
