Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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