Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
