I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
