At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
