Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
