Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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