Joe is yelling at the trees again.
so let's talk penis.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
