White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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