Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the day after is always just damage control
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
