to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
