Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
