I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i now understand why vodka
I'm too high and old for this...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
