Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
