So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
