we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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