so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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