How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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