He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
