i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize