I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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