Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
