I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
