Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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