after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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