She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
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are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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