someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
