So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I need moral support for this bender
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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