my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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