if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
