I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
