my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The adults are the big ones right?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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