Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
