She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
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