I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
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She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
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"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dicks are not precious.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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