There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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