You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
