used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
