i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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