she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
