so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
love makes seman taste better
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
so let's talk penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The adults are the big ones right?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
