I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize