Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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