I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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