Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize