Sry I called you an 8
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
