so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
