I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
