just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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