Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
