I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
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to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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