I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
